Berkovitza and the kids...

We have arrived safely in Berkovitza. I called the director as soon as we stop at the gas station where we suppost to wait . He came whitin minutes. We followed him , we did passed few buildings on the way and we thought one of them is the institution, however we were wrong...We did go out of the town Berkovitza torward the mountain. The institution sits on top of a hill and view is fantastic. I wasn't sure if i was ready to see the children ( i got scared and nervouse how i'm going to react i didn't know what to expect). We first entered the directors office. I told him i can't have him smoke around me ,because i have astma..he was fine with it. He did tell us that this institiution was build in 1956, but operating from 1959. The dirctor was there for the first time in 1988 and his position was a junitor. Now he is the director. He did explain to us that the budjet for the year is 577,000 leva which is 424,264 dollars.The institution do have 90 people( ages 5-35) and 60 working staff. The budget has to cover food, medicine ,gas, salaries and utilities. The director said without donations they will not survive. I asked him what they really need. Immediatlly he said " food"...nothing else but "food". He said that the kitchen staff is cooking every day for a " wedding" . He did say also that at age of 18 the children suppost to leave this institution and be placed to a home for old people, but he said i don't allow my children to go there ,because it's scary. He said i keep them here even though i'm not suppost to. He said that the goverment to give pension for each child and the director said he doesn't use this money for anytning else ,but save it for each child's account. He told us a story of how they use to have a small pig farm right there on site,but the goverment came and told him he is not up to the standarts of USDA( same thing like in the states) and they shut down his farm. He said it has been very hard ever since, because that was his main source for meat. They use to have garden ,but the goverment came and took the land. We then entered the building to visit the kids and see the condition. As soon as we entered , the smell was unreal, i can't describe exactly, something between urine and puss. Earlier i was scared ,but now as soon as i start walking the long hallway i felt this is "right" i was excited and anxious to see the angels. We heard singing and claping hands. That was the play room where all the little ones reside. Once the door open and the children saw us they jumped and came to get hugs. There was only one care giver with around 20 kids..I was overwellemd as soon as i touched one child , another came and crabbed my hand and wanted attention. This moment will never leave my mind until the day i die..This was so worth to me that you will never understand unless you see it in person. We then walked around the enire building to see what's intere. They are so many groups of disabled abounded children that i got confused. We went to one floor then another one and we visit the rooms where they sleep. In one group the children were probably around 15-18. One boy jumped and came to me, took my hand and lead me to a bench. Then he gave me a book and pointed out that he wants me to sit next to him and read the book . The book was the "bible"...I'm very sad. There is no way i can addopt all of this children,but what can i do to ease their life and give some love. They all needed so much love and attention. One care giver per group can't do it. I'm constantly thinking about these children . My world has changed . I feel empthy . I look for answers how can so much pain and sorrow can excist? To continue....